Coloured Sheep Technology

Paul finds himself in hot water, all because of an April Fool Hoax!

April Fool’s Day or All Fool’s day which falls on the 1^st of April gives its name to the custom of playing practical jokes on friends or relatives, sending them on a “fool’s errand.” Finding a good April Fool Hoax was also the dream of many television news producers.

The very first television April Fool’s hoax was in 1957 when the BBC current-affairs programme Panorama broadcast an item, purportedly showing a family in southern Switzerland harvesting spaghetti from the family "spaghetti tree”. It was a classic, beautifully put together, became an all-time favourite and the benchmark for all future stories.

My good friend and broadcaster David Bean nearly ended his career in the late sixties transmitting his April Fool television report. With his wicked sense of humour and the ability to “poke fun” at the establishment, David invented a medieval castle. Using archive film footage of many different buildings he edited it all together and told of a new discovery. A previously hidden castle that King Arthur used before he found Camelot.

It was a great idea and totally believable, unfortunately for David, once transmitted it became an overnight success. Thousands of people swamped government departments wanting information on how to visit this undiscovered gem. He was seriously unpopular particularly as the departments also thought it true!

So, in the early eighties, when I got a call from a senior manager of an international woollen mill, based in our region asking if I wanted to be part of an elaborated April Hoax, I knew there were risks.

It was, he said, top secret and he would only divulge it involved sheep. I had to meet him at a remote field if I wanted the “scoop. “My standing with the news desk was good enough to be given a film crew for one day on the strict understanding that I would produce an outstanding, believable story. No pressure then!

On the appointed day my favourite crew, cameraman “Scottie” sound recordist “Tarnie” and electrician Ian arrived at the remote rural location to be met, as promised by the manager, some helpers and 20 sheep!

“What’s the plan?” I said.

With an impish smile, he produced several aerosol cans and pointed to the sheep. He still would not tell me the story, but said that the cans contained harmless vegetable dye that would wash off in the first rain shower and we were going to spray each sheep either, yellow, blue, or red.

I wish I had filmed the next half hour as myself, cameraman, electrician, sound recordist together with the manager and his helpers caught and sprayed each sheep.

What we were left with was a field of gently grazing, multi-coloured sheep The manager had put on a long white coat, strange spectacles, and was carrying a clipboard.

The story was ingenious. The company, so the story went, had genetically modified sheep so they would be born with one of the primary colours. Gone, he said, was the need for the expensive and costly dying process, it could all be done by cross-breeding the sheep. For instance, he said, if you wanted green yarn, you would cross a yellow sheep with a blue one and so on. “Coloured Sheep Technology,” a world-beating invention that would revolutionise the woollen industry. I loved it!

Tight storyline, great pictures and, more importantly, my producer loved it. So, on the morning of April first out it went and I waited to join the ranks of the spaghetti tree pioneers. It didn’t quite work out the way I had planned.

I thought I might have to defend the spraying of sheep with vegetable dye but never in my wildest dreams did I consider the outrage of genetically modifying sheep. Complaints of “tampering with nature” and dire warnings of the consequences to mankind of this ill-judged experiment landed on our desks.

We should, perhaps, have taken more notice of another tradition, that of opening Pandora’s box. For, though false, once released it took quite some time for the whole episode to die down. Still, it was a brilliant, creative idea by the manager, fun to do and you don’t get too worried about “rocking the boat” when you are young.